Dear Brain, this is why we can’t have nice things, love Jessie.

While I might look fairly innocuous, you can bet that at any given time I am thinking the most fucked up shit. Disclaimer: I don’t fantasise about weird stuff like death or Justin Bieber proposing to me [WHAT THIS ISN’T WEIRD – Ed.], I don’t have a mental disorder, and I probably won’t murder you. In fact, according to a whole bunch of people on the internet, it’s completely normal to be a little paranoid – and everything on the internet is true.

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