I am bad at break ups. I have a short list of ex-girlfriends but a long list of troubles associated with them. So this time I decided to do it right. I drank heavily, sent angry text messages, cried, let it all out, spent all my money on drugs and drinks. Tried exercising, talking to people, wrote, got on with my life. At the end of one week I was still as miserable as I had ever been. So I decided to break up with reality and reality, in turn, broke up with me.