Cow Tippin’

Earlier this year I introduced myself to my classmates in a university tutorial by telling them I wanted to be a farmer.

Looking back, people probably thought I was trying to be quaint, quirky, or charming. Those kinds of getting-to-know-you speeches at uni can be really competitive by your final year. It’s not enough to just say “um hi, I’m so-and-so… I’m doing Arts and Education… I’ve got a dog,” and then giggle self-consciously like we all did in first year. You’ve really got to bring it these days. Justify why you’re still at university in your mid-twenties. Compose a funny and insightful verbal self-portrait in twenty-five words or less.

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The Right to Remain Awesome

After fluffing around in an Arts degree in 2012, I finally abandoned the foolhardy idea that an English major will somehow make me employable, hung up my harem pants, tamed my dreadlocks (jkz that shit’s rank) and decided to buckle down and enrol in Law. However, little did I know that signing up for this course would earn me a one-way ticket to Judgement City, mostly centred around the premise that after five and a half years in a Law degree I will have sold my soul to Beelzebub and have my moral compass confiscated in the first year.

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